Cheaters Never Win
by jzay
Summary: A look into what happens after Arizona cheats.
1. You Deserve Better

A/N: I got a new apartment and my internet wasn't set up yet, so I have been doing a lot of writing as a result. Working on quite a few fics that are mostly complete so I'll post quickly. Enjoy.

It was about a year after Arizona and Callie had officially called it quits. That day 13 months ago broke Arizona. Callie had asked her to have dinner alone which she thought was a good sign only to tell her that, other than Sofia, they wouldn't have contact. She begged Callie to reconsider, but her wife couldn't get over the cheating. They had even tried to be physical once, but Callie freaked out and said all she could do was see another woman touching Arizona. After that, it was nothing but fighting and bitterness.

However, even with all of that, Arizona had held out hope. That was until Dr. Mcslutface entered the picture. She was a cardiologist that had just recently come to Grey Sloan Hospital and for the past month she had been openly dating Callie.

"Arizona," Callie said as she came up to stand next to her at the nurses station.

"Calliope, hi."

"Can you take Sofia tonight. I know it's my night, but Jenna just got tonight off."

"Oh, then in that case, no."

"Excuse me?" Callie said wondering what was up with Arizona. Usually she jumped at the chance for extra time with Sofia.

"Calliope, I get that we are not together, I do. I understand that you are moving on and I'm happy for you. But you can't ask me to watch our daughter so you can go out on a date with someone else."

"Why not? It's my life and you are the person I should be able to ask since it's our daughter."

"I know and I love spending time with her, but you can't talk to me about your new love life. I'm still in love with you, so you have to consider that when you ask me to cover so you can go on a date."

"You have to stop saying things like that Arizona."

"Why? It's true. You may be ready to move on, but I'm not. I don't think I'll ever be ready."

"I'm sorry Arizona, really I am, but that's what happens when you break up."

"I know, that's why I didn't want to break up."

"We aren't talking about this again. Will you take Sofia or not?"

"Not, unless of course you want to come over for a family night."

"Maybe some other time." Callie walked off in a huff and Arizona only hoped no one else would agree to watch her.

That night, Arizona went to the bar because she was upset about Callie. She noticed a few gossipy nurses next to her at the bar and her ears perked up when she heard them talking about Dr. Torres.

"It's too bad really," one nurse said.

"Yeah Jenna was a great lay. I mean that woman has skills."

Arizona rolled her eyes not wanting to think about her wife's new girlfriend being good in bed. She tried to convince herself that she had nothing on the Robbins Method.

"It sucks. She used to pull me into on call rooms all the time and blow my mind."

"Lucky, lucky Dr. Torres."

"Well she's not entirely that lucky in terms of the relationship."

"What do you mean?" The brunette nurse asked.

"I mean just because she stopped sleeping with people at the hospital doesn't mean she isn't sleeping around."

"You're kidding me right?"

"Not at all. She still goes out on nights Callie has Sofia and takes other women home."

"Wow, poor Torres. She doesn't deserve that."

"Excuse me," Arizona finally interjected.

"Oh um Dr. Robbins, how are you?" one of them stumbled worried about what Arizona heard.

"How do you know about Jenna sleeping around on Callie?"

"Oh, well she likes to go to this place called The Den and pick up girls."

"And you're sure she has done this lately."

"Yeah, the girls there brag about taking her home."

"Interesting, thank you ladies." For once nurses gossip was working in Arizona's favor. While she was sad that Callie was getting cheated on yet again, she welcomed a chance to break her and Jenna up. Now she just needed a plan.

A few days later, it was Callie's night with Sofia and Arizona had every intention of catching Jenna in the act. She grabbed her phone and dialed a number.

"Hey Krista."

"Arizona. Long time no talk. How's your hot wife? Back to men again?"

Arizona cringed, "No Krista she's not. How many times do I have to tell you to lay off that shit?"

"Sorry, sorry, what's up?"

"Well, we actually broke up about a year ago."

"Excuse me? Miss Arizona she's my soul mate Robbins broke up with her wife?"

"It's complicated, but she's dating some new whore and I heard she's sleeping around."

"Sleeping around on Callie. Wow, how stupid can you get?"

"Yeah, really stupid. Anyways, she goes to The Den and I wanted to see if you would come with me tonight."

"Sure, and hey if your not banging Callie anymore maybe we could head home after and have a little fun."

"Krista, I wasn't just banging Callie. She was my wife and I don't want anyone else."

"Alright, well maybe a little tequila will loosen you up."

"Just meet me there at 10."

"Okay, see ya tonight."

Later that evening, they were at the bar with no sign of Jenna, so Arizona started to ask around.

"So, can I buy you a drink?" She said to a young dark haired Latina that seemed to be Jenna's type.

"Sure," the woman smiled at her.

"I was wondering if you knew a doctor by the name of Jenna Rylie."

"Yeah, I know her."

"What do you know about her?"

"She comes in here about once a week and takes a lucky lady home to fuck their brains out. Never the same woman twice."

"And this has happened recently, like in the last month?"

"Yeah, I went with her about two weeks ago. She goes a few rounds and always sneaks out in the night."

"Okay, well thank you."

"Yeah I get the feeling she has someone to go home to, that's why she's so detached and never stays."

"She does actually. Tell your friends she's a dirty whore."

"Oh my god, you're the someone she goes home to aren't you?"

"No, no way. She's dating my wife."

"Um what?" the woman said clearly confused.

"We're separated, but she's perfect and she deserves better than some stupid skank."

"Ah, I see."

About an hour later, Arizona and Krista were in a back booth when Jenna strolled in. She did her rounds at the bar and bought quite a few women drinks, but hadn't done anything really scandalous yet. Then, about another hour after that, she started to make a move. She came in really close to a woman and shamelessly flirted. After a few drinks, she leaned in and whispered in her ear. The two got up and left together.

"AHA!" Arizona yelled out.

"There she goes," Krista added.

"I've got her," Arizona said fully planning to tell Callie.

"So what's your plan Arizona?"

"What do you mean what's my plan?"

"I mean Callie doesn't trust you. What makes you think she will believe a word you say?"

"I'll make her." At that Arizona paid the tab and ran off to Callie's apartment. She knocked on the door loudly not at all thinking how late it was, but she couldn't wait to tell her.

"Arizona?" A sleepy Callie finally answered.

"Calliope, wow you're beautiful." Arizona hadn't meant to say that, but she couldn't help it when sleepy, cute Callie was right in her face.

"You came here at 2 am to tell me I'm beautiful."

"Well no. I um, so I was out with Krista at the bar and I saw Jenna."

"Okay," Callie said not getting the point.

"Anyways, she left with someone. Callie she's sleeping around on you."

"Arizona, seriously. Just because you cheat on me you see cheaters everywhere. I'm sure it was just a friend."

"No it wasn't. I heard from nurses and others at the bar, she does this all the time."

"God damnit. Arizona, Jenna used to sleep around a lot, but she doesn't do that now. She's with me."

"I'm so sorry, but she is."

"Go home."

"Wait, just answer this. If she isn't sleeping with someone else, where is your precious Jenna right now?"

"Probably at home in bed. Goodnight Arizona," Callie said slamming the door.

"Well that went well," Arizona said to herself as she went across the hall to crash at her place that had once been Mark's.

Callie didn't really believe her, but she had to admit that Jenna was usually not around nights she had Sofia. She decided to put her mind at ease and call her.

Hey, it's Jenna. Leave a message

"Hey babe, it's me. I just wanted to see what you were up to. Um I mean well your probably sleeping, but I was thinking of you. Okay, bye."

Callie then went to sleep figuring she would hear from Jenna in the morning. Then, at about 4 am, she felt someone behind her.

"Mmm hey baby, I got your message," she heard Jenna's voice.

"Oh yeah, I was just thinking about you."

"I was thinking of you too," Jenna said kissing her neck.

"Thanks for coming over."

"It is my pleasure."

See Arizona was totally wrong. Jenna had heard her stupid message and immediately come over to spend the night. She just didn't like Jenna so she created a problem.

The next morning at breakfast, Callie couldn't shake what Arizona said. Sure, Arizona cheated, but she wasn't a liar.

"So what were you up to last night?" Callie asked.

"I just went for drinks with some friends."

"Oh nice, where?"

"Joes," Jenna lied.

"Oh yeah, that's fun."

"Yeah it was a great time."

"You know I heard about this place, The Den, ever heard of it?"

"Um no." Lie number two.

"We should go there sometime," Callie said wrapping her arms around Jenna who had turned to do the dishes.

"I prefer Joe's."

"Yeah, but everyone goes there."

"Maybe."


	2. Am I really that forgettable?

Chapter 2:

Callie dropped it then, but a few days later they were planning to go out.

"Let's go to The Den," Callie suggested.

"No," Jenna said too quickly.

"Why not?"

"I just don't want to. Joe's is closer."

"I want something new. Is there a reason you don't want me to go there?"

"No not at all."

"Then it's settled, The Den it is."

Jenna rolled her eyes and was pretty nervous about going. This is why she didn't sleep with nurses anymore because she didn't want a conflict of interest. Hopefully, no one would say anything.

Things were fine for about an hour and they sat and visited with friends. Then, the woman from the other night approached them.

"Hey Jenna."

"Oh um hi," Jenna said looking at Callie hoping she was preoccupied.

"So I had a really good time the other night."

At that Callie turned her head. "The other night?" she said looking directly at Jenna.

"Oh yeah, those drinks were fun," Jenna said trying to cover.

"Well yeah the drinks were good, but I'm talking about after."

"Jenna what is she talking about?"

"Nothing, um have a nice evening," Jenna said excusing the woman.

"They all warned me you know. Said you were a heartbreaker who didn't call and snuck out in the night."

"Jenna, did you sleep with her?" Callie asked afraid of the response.

"What? No."

"Really Jenna, really?" the woman joined in.

"Go away," Jenna said.

"No, you know what, I wanna hear this," Callie said, "Hi, I'm Callie, her girlfriend."

"Oh, so you do have a girlfriend. Figures."

"Yes I do, now if you will excuse us."

"Well," the woman said addressing Callie now, "I guess you should know that your girlfriend comes in here once a week and screws someone."

"Jenna is that true?" Callie said looking hurt.

"No Callie, not at all."

"Arizona was right."

"Excuse me?"

"She told me she saw you leave with someone. That's why I wanted to come here."

"Arizona just wants you back Callie."

"That may be true, but she was right. Goodbye Jenna." Callie stood up and stormed out. She was planning on heading to another bar, but found herself at the liquor store instead. She got drunk in the park, then walked home. When she looked at Arizona's door across the hall, she couldn't stop herself. She let herself in and went straight into the bedroom.

"Why?"

Arizona stirred and looked up, "Calliope."

"Why does everyone cheat on me?" Callie said moving to lay on the other side of the bed.

"Oh, you caught her didn't you?"

"Yeah, you were right."

"I'm sorry, I wish I wasn't."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do. No, I didn't want you two together, but I don't want you to be hurt."

"I just don't get it," Callie slurred, "is it me? What about me is so forgettable?"

"Calliope, look at me. You are miraculous. Nothing about you is forgettable."

"You did it too. You forgot about me when you screwed that woman."

"And it was the biggest mistake of my life. I will never forgive myself because I lost the most amazing woman in world because of it."

"Really Arizona, please just be honest with me."

"I am being honest, you are gorgeous and perfect."

"Then why?"

"Calliope, Jenna is a whore. Has always been a whore and will always be a whore."

"And you?"

"I was angry and avoiding my feelings. I slept with Lauren because I was numb. It was a meaningless act that came at way too high a cost."

"Yeah."

"If I could take it back I would. And if you want to move on that's okay. Just please move on with someone who treats you the way you deserve. The way I treated you before the crash."

"Why can't you be that woman again?"

"I'm not the same Callie. I love you the same, but I've changed. I'm sorry."

Callie looked into Arizona's eyes. Maybe it was the honesty, maybe it was the flicker of passion she saw, or maybe it was just the tequila, but Callie crashed her lips into Arizona's and rolled on top of her.

Arizona was stunned, but quickly caught up and continued on. Then, as things heated up and she tasted the tequila she stopped.

"Calliope, hold on."

"What? You don't want me?"

"No, god no. Of course I want you, but not like this."

"Why not?"

"Because you are drunk and upset and you will regret it."

"Yeah fine, whatever Arizona," Callie said angrily as she moved of the bed.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going out. To find someone who actually appreciates me."

"Hold on," Arizona said getting out of bed and grabbing her crutches to move towards Callie.

"Get out of my way Arizona."

"No, I won't. I'm sorry you are hurt and I'm sorry I can't sleep with you right now, but I'm not going to let you go out in the middle of the night to find some random person to sleep with."

"Why do you care?" Callie spat.

"Because I love you. Because I love you too much to let you do that to yourself."

"Coulda fooled me!"

"Calliope, I'm always going to love you. I want to be the only one you sleep with, but I don't want to jump in bed with you and then go back to practically ignoring each other tomorrow."

"I can't give you anything else."

"Then I can't take this."

Arizona placed a light kiss on Callie's lips, "Come back to bed. You can sleep it off and we'll talk in the morning."

"Will you stay?"

"Yeah, I'll stay."

They climbed into bed and Arizona held her. It was a breadcrumb, but she would take it.


	3. Anniversaries and Such

The next day at work, Jenna came storming up to Arizona.

"Who do you think you are?"

"Excuse me?"

"You went and stuck your nose in my business."

"Calliope is my business Jenna."

"Not anymore she isn't."

"Well from what I hear, she definitely isn't your business."

"Yeah because you couldn't keep your stupid mouth shut."

"You listen to me and listen to me good. That's my wife. My beautiful perfect wife. The mother of my daughter. Stay the fuck away from her."

"I'll do what I damn well please," Jenna said storming off.

Jenna then found Callie in her office and stormed in.

"Where the hell were you last night?" she demanded.

"None of your business, that's where."

"I came to your place and you weren't home. What, you're sleeping around on me now?"

"First of all, our relationship ended last night. Second, I didn't sleep with anyone last night."

"Then where were you?"

"If you must know, I was with Arizona."

"Wow, seriously. She cheated on you Callie."

"Don't you think I know that, but so did you. At least Arizona loves me."

"Wow, you're pathetic."

"Excuse me?"

"I said you're pathetic. Still pining after someone who so easily slept with someone else after years of marriage."

"That's none of your business. Please leave."

"No, I won't leave because we are not done."

"Yes, we are. If you won't leave, I will," Callie said as she left the office.

Callie and Arizona went back to the way things had been, but they had more family dinners and days in the park. Arizona had thought maybe after Jenna they would work it out, but Callie gave her nothing. So she took the family time and cherished it.

A few months after the whole Jenna thing, there was another new doctor who had become friends with Arizona and they were currently at the bar because it was a particularly horrible day for the blonde.

"I can't do this every year," Arizona said taking another shot.

"It will get easier," Sarah said to her.

"I don't think it will. Every year on this date, I will be a mess. I married the love of my life on this day. It's too hard."

"Eventually you will move on. You will love someone else and you won't think of her so much."

"Doubtful," Arizona responded taking yet another shot.

"You know, I'm known for my bedside manner Dr. Robbins," Sarah said leaning into her.

"Ahem, oh really?" Arizona responded.

"Yeah, its something to do with my talented hands and tongue."

Arizona gulped, Sarah was definitely hitting on her. She thought she may be gay, but wasn't sure.

"Well that will do it."

They spent the rest of the evening flirting and then Sarah took Arizona back to her apartment. As they stumbled in, Arizona missed her ex-wife coming out of her apartment right as Sarah was letting her into the one across the hall. Callie was hurt. She had spent the night crying over their anniversary and Arizona was busy bringing Dr. Ellison home.

They moved to the bedroom and Sarah lay Arizona down then turned to leave when Arizona grabbed her and pulled her into the bed. She kissed her hard and started to remove her shirt.

"I want to learn about your bedside manner Dr. Ellison."

"Oh really?"

"Yes really. I hear it's magical."

They continued like this until they were both naked, then Sarah breathed out Arizona's name and the blonde froze. This was all wrong.

"Wait, Sarah, stop."

"What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, I can't do this."

"Oh," Sarah said suddenly feeling exposed.

"Your beautiful and I should be able to, but I really can't sleep with someone else on our anniversary."

"I get it, really I do."

"Maybe we could go on a date or something. Just on another day."

"That sounds nice."

"Thanks for understanding."

"You're worth it Arizona."

The next morning, Callie was particularly pissed off and was getting Sofia ready for daycare.

"Where Mama?" Sofia asked.

"She's home."

"We see her? Please?" Sofia begged.

"Not today baby."

Sofia was unhappy and right as they passed Arizona's door Sofia broke free and began to pound on the door.

"Sofia, mommy is busy," _with some drunk slut_ she thought in her mind.

"I want mommy," Sofia whined.

"Hey, hey, hey," Arizona said opening the door, "What's all this fuss about?"

"Mommy," Sofia yelled as she jumped into her arms.

"I'm sorry, she just wanted to see you before we go to the hospital."

"Oh baby girl you can always come see me," Arizona said giving her kisses.

Sofia giggled then said, "Kisses for mama too?"

Their eyes met and neither knew what to say. They were interrupted when Sarah called out.

"Arizona, where's the coffee?"

Arizona looked guilty and yelled back, "next to the stove."

"Well, I better go," Callie said trying to escape before she got even more upset.

"Callie, it's not what you think."

"Don't worry about it. You can do whatever you want."

Arizona looked for Callie all day, but couldn't find her. Finally, she was able to corner her outside the hospital daycare getting ready to pick up Sofia.

"Callliope, I've been looking for you all day."

"Yeah, well I've been avoiding you."

"Look, I know what it looked like this morning, but it wasn't that."

"Arizona I saw you last night."

"What?"

"Last night, you were wasted and we both know how you get when you are wasted."

"Look, I mean it did almost happen, but I was kissing her and.."

"Please stop," Callie said holding up her hand.

"No, you need to hear this. She wasn't you. I was so drunk because I was upset about our anniversary. Don't think I forgot. I just wanted to be over it and so I tried to sleep with her, but I stopped it. I couldn't sleep with someone else on our anniversary."

"It's not our anniversary anymore. Its just any other day."

"Not to me."

"Yeah well do what you want Arizona."

"It's just hard. You say you don't want me anymore. You barely talk to me, then when I may be moving on you get upset."

"Yeah, why is that so hard to understand?"

"Cause it's not fair."

"Nothing is fair. I want to move on. I want to not care too."

"I care, but I can't just pine after you forever. I want you back, but you have made it perfectly clear that will never happen. I'm trying to be happy."

"Be happy then."

"Your actions say differently."

"Arizona, I'm sorry. I just realized that you finally gave up. Before it was like you were still waiting for me. Seeing you with her made me see it's actually over. That hurts."

"It hurts me too."

"I just, when I try to move on I still think about you. Even with Jenna, I still wanted you. It's hard watching the person you love with someone else."

Arizona's eyes widened, she hadn't heard Callie say that since before she cheated. She was pretty sure Callie didn't love her anymore.

"What did you say?"

"I said it's hard."

"No, Calliope you said you love me."

"Oh yeah, I mean, come on, of course I do."

"I just, I thought you hated me."

"Arizona, I hate what you did, I don't hate you."

"Well if you love me, why can't we be together?"

"Because I don't trust you."

"Then, I'll earn your trust."

"Arizona, we have been over this. We won't work."

"Only because you refuse to let us work," Arizona said as she turned to leave.

"And for the record Calliope, I never gave up, you did."


	4. How Could You Do This?

A/N: Sorry guys, it's gonna get worse before it gets better.

Arizona's words were ringing in Callie's head all week. Had she really not given up on her? Was Callie really the one giving up?

She knew it was over between them and that was Arizona's fault, but she was the one giving up. Arizona was still fighting for her. She cornered her every chance she got and begged her. She left notes and flowers and Callie's favorite foods and chocolates. Arizona had even gotten Sofia involved by dressing her in homemade little t-shirts that said, "Mommy is sorry" and "Mommy loves Mama."

And then there were all those times when Arizona would finally lose it cause Sofia would be throwing a fit and begging her not to go. She would just look at Callie and say, "Ask your Mama why I can't stay. If she let me, I would never leave."

All of these events are what led Callie to her usual spot at Joe's bar crying into her beer. Except this time, there was no beautiful blonde to follow her into the bathroom and cheer her up.

Callie had blown most people off after the debacle with Jenna. But tonight, she decided she was gonna go for it. She was going to get laid and be no strings attached.

"Let me buy you a drink," came a soft, sexy voice. Callie turned to see a gorgeous brunette with green eyes and tan skin. Yes, she thought. She looks nothing like Arizona, so it won't remind me of her all night.

"Tequila is the drink of choice."

"Girl after my own heart," the woman said ordering two.

"I'm Caroline."

"Callie."

"So Callie, what bring you here. You look sad."

"It has been a long few months."

"Wanna talk about it?" Caroline said sincerely.

"Nope, I want to drink."

"Sounds good. Drinking it is."

Around their 4th drink, they were getting along great and Callie had figured out she would have no problem taking Caroline home. She was halfway there as she moved closer, practically between her legs and Caroline easily ran her hand up and down Callie's arm.

The problem arose when Arizona showed up and stalked right up to her pissed to all hell that Callie was with someone else.

"Excuse me," Arizona started sweetly, "But I would really appreciate it if you took your hands of my wife. You know, before I go all Arizona on the playground on your ass."

"Your married?" Caroline questioned looking at Callie.

"No, not anymore."

"Oh, gotcha. Ex-wife."

"We are still married in my eyes Calliope."

"How many fucking times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that and leave me the hell alone?" Callie screamed starting to get really angry. She just wanted to get laid and not think about Arizona for one minute.

"It doesn't matter how many times you say it. I love you and I want to be with you forever. Stop wasting your time and just be with me."

"Arizona, you fucked someone else. You can't storm in everytime I have someone else and stake your claim. You don't have a claim anymore."

Arizona leaned in close, "I will always have a claim. I know I still have a piece of your heart."

"You know what," Callie said turning completely towards her and standing up to tower over Arizona, "no you don't. You once held a piece of my heart, but you lost that the moment you betrayed out marriage."

"Even if you are mad at me and hurt, you can't say we don't hold each other's heart."

"Whatever heart you hold ended up stomped on on the ground. So maybe I don't have a heart anymore, but you sure as hell don't have it."

"Say whatever you want Calliope."

"Ugh. You know what Arizona. I don't love you. I don't want anything to do with you. In fact, I hate you."

Arizona felt like she had been punched in the gut. How could Callie say she didn't love her? She had never said that before.

"You, you don't mean that," Arizona stuttered.

"Yes, I do. I honestly feel nothing but regret when it comes to you."

"Regret?"

"I wish I never met you. I regret everyday that I even asked you out all those years ago. All I need it Sofia and I didn't need you for that."

Callie had just cut Arizona down where it hurt and she knew it. In fact, it hurt her to even say it because Arizona did hold her heart. She loved her with everything she had and she couldn't raise Sofia without her.

"I don't know what to say."

"Then just go away."

Their screaming had attracted a lot of attention and Joe came up calmly.

"Ladies, I usually love having you in here, but I think its time you both called it a night."

"Great, you got us kicked out Calliope."

"Whatever. Come on let's go," Callie said grabbing a very stunned brunette's hand.

Arizona followed them out and as they were walking home she turned around to Arizona, "don't you dare follow me Arizona!"

Arizona just slowed her pace, but she had every intention of still following her.

After about 20 minutes, she let herself into the apartment building and pulled out her key. Here goes nothing, she thought as she entered the apartment.

What she saw hurt a lot. Callie was straddling the woman in her bra on their couch. The couch they had bought together and made love on countless times.

"What the fuck?" the woman screamed when she saw Arizona over Callie's shoulder. Her fingers were literally inside of Callie still.

"Arizona, I told you not to follow me. Get out!" Callie screamed.

"No, I won't."

"You are impossible. I'm going to call the cops on you."

"Not until she leaves," Arizona said pointing at the woman.

"Nope, she can stay. I have some things I want to do with her."

"Please don't" Arizona begged even though Callie was already in the throws of it.

Arizona sat their pleading so Callie decided she would give her a show.

"Fine, you won't leave, then you can watch."

She turned to the woman and started kissing her again. At first Caroline was totally against it, but then she gave in because ex-wife in the room or not, Callie was irresistible.

Arizona couldn't believe she was still staring. This was literally the worst moment of her life to date.

"Oh fuck, yes, yes," Callie moaned as she bounced on Caroline's fingers.

"Mmm Callie, you are so hot."

"Yes, Caroline. Oh my god," she screamed as she turned to look at Arizona.

"Callie I can feel you clenching around me."

"I'm so close. God you are so good." Callie was enjoying herself yes and this woman had skills, but she was definitely putting on a show because she knew Arizona was still here.

Arizona watched as Callie came undone, then flipped Caroline over and gave her multiple orgasms. She should have left, but she felt like once she had stayed this long, she needed to prove a point. As they lay there on the coach Arizona just stared hoping Caroline would leave.

"Wow Callie, that was amazing. We should do that again sometime."

"You got it. I can't get enough of you."

Arizona's eyes snapped up because Callie always said that to her.

Caroline instantly felt guilty when she finally made eye contact with Arizona. She had forgotten she was there, so this was really awkward.

"Well Callie, you have my number, I should go."

"Don't go. She can go. I could definitely go another round. Maybe in the bed."

"Okay, enough Calliope. You don't get to fuck her in our bed."

"It's not our bed anymore Arizona."

"Alright, that's really my cue to leave. Bye Callie," Caroline said pecking her and rushing out.

"Yes, it is still our bed and the only person who gets to sleep with you in it is me."

"False, I fucked Jenna in that bed and I fucked a few other women in the past two weeks in that bed."

"What? You slept with two other people?"

"Well three if you count Caroline just now. And if you count the orgasms its much higher."

"God Callie, are you done hurting me yet?"

"Not even close."

"Can you imagine what this feels like for me? I just saw you sleep with another woman."

"Now you know what I felt like picturing you with Lauren over and over."

"I'm sorry Calliope. I truly am."

"Well sorry doesn't matter. I don't love you anymore. Do you really think I would fuck someone in front of you if I still loved you?"

Arizona thought about it and realized Callie wasn't just messing around.

"Wow."

"Yeah, I feel nothing. All I'm thinking about is getting into bed with anyone I can because I don't give a shit."

"Fine Calliope. Fine, you got what you want. You have hurt me as badly as I hurt you and I'm done. I give up, I'm done fighting. Don't worry, you don't have to deal with me anymore."

"Good," Callie said as she turned and walked to her bedroom. She turned around just in time to see Arizona sitting in a chair weeping. Wow, she couldn't believe she had just done that to her. Who was she and what happened to Callie Torres?


	5. You're Free

A/N: Eek I'm so sorry. I couldn't leave you all there for another day. That last chapter was literally the most horrible thing I have ever written, I almost didn't post it. Anyway, this one starts out awful, but it turns out much better

Arizona didn't really think there was anything to live for except Sofia. She loved that little girl more than anything, but Callie had made it quite clear Sofia didn't need her. She took a leave of absence from work and spent days watching romantic comedies and going through multiple tissue boxes.

Callie had called, but she couldn't even bring herself to pick up. Finally, she decided there wasn't anything left.

She debated with herself for days as she capped and uncapped the pill bottle she had filled in Sofia's name. She just wanted to swallow them and forget the mess her life had become. Finally, while watching their wedding video for the millionth time, she said fuck it and took all the pills.

Callie was busy going over bills and online accounts on Saturday morning as Sofia happily played. As she was looking at their medical accounts, she noticed something strange. There was a prescription for oxycodone in Sofia's name. Thinking it must be mistake, she clicked on the prescription and her heart stopped beating. The doctor on the script was Arizona Robbins M.D.

"No, no no no no," she said reading further to find that she had filled it 3 days ago.

Arizona had been gone from work for 4 days and hadn't answered her phone. She grabbed Sofia and rushed over to Arizona's new apartment. Without even bothering to knock, she used her key and put Sofia down as she rushed to her unconscious wife on the couch.

"Arizona, oh my god Arizona please no," she said thankfully finding a heartbeat with one hand and calling an ambulance with the other.

"Mama, what's wrong with Mommy?" Sofia asked as she came over to them.

"She's just sleeping Sof, don't worry."

"Why you cry then?" Sofia asked as she grabbed Arizona's hand.

"I just, she's sick."

"Mommy, don't be sick. Wake up!" Sofia screamed jumping up to pat her cheeks.

"Why she not wake up?"

"She will, she will baby," Callie assured her really just needing to hear it herself.

At the hospital, they pumped Arizona's stomach and hooked her up to a breathing machine right away. Callie had made Karev watch Sofia with a promise of ice cream to take her mind off what she had seen. She refused to leave Arizona's side. As she lay in the ICU, she held her hand and rubbed little circles on it as she cried.

"Arizona, I'm so sorry, this is all my fault. I never thought it would get this bad. And I can't even blame you, I probably would have done the same thing if I saw you fuck someone else right in front of me. Ugh what the fuck is wrong with me. I should be laying in that bed."

Miranda came in quietly to update her.

"I think we caught it in time, she will most likely wake up. I'm here to take out of breathing tube, then it should only take a few hours."

"Okay, thanks."

Miranda took out the tube and left them telling Callie to page when she woke up.

Finally, after what felt like years, Arizona started to stir.

"Oh my god, baby can you hear me?"

"Caa…"

"Yes, I'm here, Arizona I'm so sorry."

"Calliope," Arizona said simply.

After the initial happiness, Callie started to get upset and let her scared side come out.

"God damnit Arizona, do you know what this does to a person? I just almost lost you. And not because of an accident. Because you stupidly decided to end your life."

"Why do you care?" Arizona spit back.

"Fuck you Arizona."

"You told me last week that you don't love me. You told me you hate me. You fucked another woman in front of me. Think about that then talk to me about what that does to a person."

"Arizona, I'm sorry."

"Sure you are."

"No, really. I'm sorry," Callie said holding her hand, "I do love you. I was just hurt. I wanted you to know what it felt like to hurt that bad."

"Trust me, I get it. I'm intimately familiar with how badly it feels to be betrayed."

"Please don't scare me like that again."

"It was stupid, I know."

"I was terrified. I saw the script and I thought I would be finding your corpse."

"I'm sorry."

"I, I need you Arizona. No matter what happens, I will always need you. You're Sofia's mom, I can't do it without you. You are the love of my life."

"I love you too Calliope. I just couldn't bear the thought that you hated me and didn't love me anymore."

"I should have never said that."

"Well I guess we both did stupid things."

"Can we just start over Arizona? I want to work it out. I know we have a lot to do and I demand you go into rehab to sort yourself out so we are never in this position again, but can we please try to be us again?"

"Really? You mean it?"

"Yes, I mean it," Callie said timidly placing her lips over Arizona's.

Arizona immediately responded and pulled her in tighter. Maybe dreams could come true after all.


	6. It's a Long Road Back

A/N: I just wanted to point out that if you don't like this story or my writing, then no one is forcing you to read it. I post because I think I have some okay stories and some people seem to like them. I'm open to suggestions and constructive criticism, but if you hate it, then don't waste your time reading it. Most of you are amazing though and I'm glad I can add to this community that I love : )

Callie had insisted that Arizona go into a full two weeks of inpatient rehab to sort through her recent suicide attempt. She knew it was pushed to the brink by her own actions, but for someone to get to that point, there was more going on. Although Callie planned on never ever even getting close to hurting her wife like that again, she didn't want Arizona to ever get to a place where she felt like the only option was to end her life.

Staying true to her end of the bargain, Callie was there to support Arizona. They had found a place a few hours from Seattle and Callie took a leave of absence to be close by with Sofia while Arizona was in the rehab center. She visited her everyday and they went to joint counseling.

"Baby girl, I'm so glad you're here," Arizona exclaimed as Callie brought Sofia to visit about 3 days into her stay.

"Mommy," Sofia squealed as she ran to her.

"Hi Calliope," Arizona said looking to her wife. Things were still a little tense between them. They were working on it, but they both had deep wounds that would take time to heal.

"Kisses for Mama," Sofia said clapping her hands. She had been doing this since they broke up and usually the women were upset by it, but today it was different.

"You think I should give your beautiful Mama a kiss huh?" Arizona said smiling and raising an eyebrow at Callie.

"I think that's a great idea," Arizona said pulling Callie into a kiss with Sofia squished between them.

It was warm and tender. Really they had only kissed once or twice since they officially decided to work it out and both of them lived for those perfect moments. It was in those moments that they kissed or hugged or held the other's hand that everything else faded away and they were reminded of how much they loved each other and what kind of relationship they wanted to get back to. A relationship where kissing, hugging, and holding hands was normal.

"I want kisses too!" Sofia demanded. They both landed sloppy kisses on each cheek.

"So, what do you want to do?" Arizona asked.

"How bout a walk. I brought a picnic," Callie said holding up a bag.

"Sounds perfect," Arizona responded taking her hand.

"Yay, picnic," Sofia chimed in.

As they sat down to lunch, Sofia doted over all the little things Callie had packed, then happily chased butterflies.

"Look how happy she is Arizona."

"I know, she's the joy of my life."

"Mine too," Callie said as they watched their daughter jump all around giggling in her sundress.

"She gives me strength to hope for a better tomorrow," Arizona thought out loud.

"I'm glad. I love hearing you talk about hope and tomorrow," Callie said taking her hands.

"Calliope, I know you were scared and I know I just got out of the hospital after I tried to kill myself about 5 days ago, but I'm in a new place now. I'm getting my wife back and my family back. I'm realizing that even in the worst times I never want to not be here."

"I'm glad, but I'm still scared. Every night I wake up scared that you aren't going to be here the next day."

"And I'm sorry, I don't want you to worry about me."

"I will always worry about you because I love you so much."

"And I'm so glad that you love me because I love you so much too."

"I can't wait until you can sleep by my side again. That way I will know you are there and won't be so scared."

"You are going to let me back in our bed?" Arizona questioned.

"Yes. When I said I wanted to start over and work this out, I meant it. No more separate apartments and passing off Sofia. No more avoiding each other and trying to hurt each other. Just me and you hashing this out."

"It's going to be a long haul. I'm still hurt and I know you're still hurt."

"Mommy, mama," Sofia interrupted, "I tired."

"Here baby, I brought a little blanket, lay down," Callie said pulling out the blanket and having Sofia lay on their larger picnic blanket.

"I sweepy," Sofia said as she snuggled into Callie.

"Go ahead, sleep tight little miss," Arizona said stroking her back. Once she was asleep Callie resumed the conversation.

"I know you are hurt. You have every right to be hurt. What I did to you, it's unforgiveable."

"It's not unforgiveable. I won't ever forget it and it will always hurt, but I will forgive you, I'm just not there yet."

"I'm not there yet either. The love of your life sleeping with someone else is hard to forgive."

"Yeah," Arizona said.

"We're going to get past all this," Callie said looking down at their sleeping daughter.

"Yes we will," Arizona said kissing her lightly on the lips.

They picked up Sofia and headed to the therapist to try and get in their hour while Sofia slept.

"Callie, Arizona, so nice to see you. Is this the little one? She's adorable," Dr. Rhodes said as they walked into her suite.

"Can we put her down somewhere and have a session?" Arizona asked.

"Sure thing, my office is right through that door and she can be put on the couch in there while we talk."

"Great," Callie said as she moved to get Sofia situated.

"You seem good," Dr. Rhodes commented while they waited for Callie.

"I am, today was perfect. I got to spend the morning and early afternoon with my wife and baby. I can't remember the last time we had a perfect day like that."

"It was a week before Lauren," Callie interrupted coming into the room and taking a seat by Arizona.

"What?"

"It was a week before the storm, before you slept with her. We were both off work and we took Sofia to the zoo. Then, we had lunch at our favorite spot and made wishes in the well. It was perfect. I remember looking at you with Sofia throwing pennys in a stupid well thinking 'Finally, I got my amazing wife back'" Callie said as tears started to run down her face.

"Wow, yeah I remember that day. It was perfect."

"I just couldn't understand how we went from that to this. We were finally reconnecting and I was so happy. You were cheerful and loving again. I thought we were finally past the hard stuff. But you were faking it, you weren't really happy."

"No, that's not true, I was happy," Arizona interjected.

"Arizona, you were pretending to be happy because you wanted everything to go back to normal, but you weren't happy."

"I thought I was happy," Arizona admitted.

"Happy people don't just cheat on their wives," Callie said pulling her hand away from Arizona's for the first time in the conversation.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I will forever be sorry. I just felt so wanted and I messed up."

"You felt wanted? That's your excuse."

"It's not an excuse, I'm trying to help you understand. When she looked at me, she looked at me like I was gorgeous and desirable and intelligent."

"I looked at you like that. I always look at you like that," Callie argued.

"Yeah, but it was different. When we first met and when we first got married you looked at me like that. But this past year it was joined and laced with all of the shit we went through. All the baggage was there too. When you looked at me, you were also looking like you were waiting for me to break. You were walking on eggshells because you were afraid to rock the boat."

"Well excuse me for not wanting to push something or mess up getting my wife back. You barely talked to me and then treated me like shit for months and I took it and stood by your side. I was a little nervous and worried when things got better because I couldn't' bear to go back to how it was those months after the crash."

"I get it. I was horrible to you. I'm sorry. I lashed out at you because I knew you would take it. I didn't know who else to lash out at because I was mad and upset. It was hard to even love myself again."

"And do you, love yourself?" Dr. Rhodes asked finally adding something to their conversation.

"What?"

"Do you love yourself? I'm assuming based on what you said that you used to, but do you now?"

Arizona hesitated, then she decided to be truthful, "No, most days I look at myself and I hate myself," she admitted sadly.

Callie's face showed shock and it was then that she took Arizona's hand and held it again.

"What's not to love Arizona?"

"Calliope, come on. I have one leg and I'm different than before the crash. I'm harder and more bitter. I'm a cheater."

"Well, I'm basically a cheater too after what I did to you. And beyond all that, you are so beautiful. One leg or no legs, you should love yourself because you are amazing."

"You don't have to say that," Arizona said looking away.

"I mean it. I mean every word. You losing a leg doesn't change how beautiful and wonderful you are as a person." Arizona was now looking in her eyes and all she saw was sincerity and love.

"Callie, you mentioned that you basically cheated. What did you mean by that?"

"I, well," Callie struggled. This was a big thing to come clean about and she was embarrassed.

"Do you want me to tell her?" Arizona asked.

"I don't even want to think about it or talk about it."

"We can save it for another day Calliope, but we have to talk about it," Arizona insisted.

"Fine, tell her."

"Okay, so we had been broken up for a while and Callie brought another woman home. I insisted that she couldn't sleep with her and followed them home. When I let myself in she was having sex with her on our couch."

Callie cringed just thinking about that day. She would forever blame herself for sinking to that low and pushing Arizona over the edge to the point where her and Sofia almost lost her.

"And then what happened?" Dr. Rhodes asked.

"Then, then," Arizona struggled.

"Then," Callie took over, "I just kept going. I let the love of my life watch me have sex with another woman. I wanted to hurt her. I was hurt and I was drunk, so I used it to tear her down."

"I see. How did that make you feel Arizona?"

"How do you think? I was crushed, devastated. I don't think I can even describe the despair and pain. I went to my place and binge drank for days. I thought about different ways to end my life. That's when I settled on the pills idea."

Callie was now weeping as she heard Arizona talk about her path to attempting to take her life.

"I'm so sorry Arizona. I'm so sorry," she cried as she tried to wipe away her tears.

"I know you are. I'm sorry too."

They continued to cry and pulled one another into a hug. They let out the anger and just found security and calm in the other person.

"Alright ladies, I think we have done enough for today. A lot of things came out and it looks like we have a lot to work through. How bout you spend the rest of the day with your daughter, then we can meet again tomorrow?"

"Thanks doc," Callie said.

"Mind if we have a moment alone?" Arizona asked.

"No problem, I'll go check on your darling daughter."

"Thanks."

"Calliope, thank you for doing this, all of this."

"I wouldn't be anywhere else. I love you and I want you to really recover. Not just from what happened last week, but from the plane crash and the amputation. I want you to feel whole again."

"I'm getting there. I feel more whole with you than any other time."

"Me too. Me too," Callie agreed as she stroked Arizona's hair in another embrace.


	7. Doing the Work

A/N: I have gotten a lot of comments and notes about Chapter 4. I agree that it does seem out of character for the Callie we know on the show and that it may have been sort of unbelievable. I wrote a few alternate versions of that chapter and, perhaps, I should have used on of those, but I already posted this version, so I'm going with it. I have read and seen a lot of fanfics about how Callie reacts to the cheating. I wanted to explore her reacting horribly, out of character, and just down right awful to the situation. I'm trying to write it from a standpoint of how someone can come back from such horrible betrayal and hurt. I enjoy the feedback and I honestly probably won't write something this dark again because it makes me too sad : (

"Arizona, it's good to see you again," Dr. Anderson greeted her the next day, "How are you?"

"I'm alright. Callie left yesterday to take Sofia to stay with our friends Derek and Meredith for the rest of my stay. She thinks we need to work on this as a couple."

"I think that's a good idea," Dr. Anderson agreed.

"Yeah, but I'm going to miss Sof"

"That makes sense, but you are doing this to keep your family. If you and Callie can strengthen your relationship and make this work, then you can be with your family all the time and not have to share custody and lose your wife."

"Just hearing you say that as a possibility makes me upset. I can't image spending my life without them."

"Well you shouldn't have to if you keep working on this."

"That's why I'm here. I'm here for her and for Sofia."

"Which is great Arizona, but you also need to do this for yourself. You can't just do it for them."

"I know, I'm trying to think about doing it for myself, but right now I'm not there. I'm here for Calliope and my daughter, hands down."

"We'll get you there," Dr. Anderson smiled. She genuinely liked Arizona and unlike some of the other patients who were coming back from infidelity, Arizona was devastated by her actions and wasn't just placating Callie with therapy. She really wanted to understand her actions and make it up to her wife. "So yesterday was a tough day in here. A lot of stuff came up, do you want to talk about any of it?"

"It's hard to talk about."

"I understand, but you need to process and I can help you."

"I know, I'm just so sick of talking about all this. I just want to be my old self and be with my wife and be happy."

"It takes work to get back to that. How bout we tackle something we have already talked about, the cheating. You talked about how Lauren looked at you."

"Yeah, she looked at me all starry eyed and amazed. It was like I could pretend for a minute that I hadn't been in a plane crash and I didn't have one leg. I felt beautiful and wanted and desirable."

"And Callie didn't make you feel like that?"

"It's not that she didn't make me feel that at all, but I just had so much baggage with her. I spent months treating her like shit. I told her it was all her fault. She picked me up off the bathroom floor in a puddle of my own urine. And so much worse."

"So you couldn't feel beautiful with her?"

"Everytime she looked at me I thought about all the horrible things I said to her. One night I even yelled at her about how Mark would want her to pick up her daughter when she was crying. I basically used it to hurt her by acting like Sofia wasn't even my daughter."

"But she stayed with you and she still wanted you. She said she still wanted all of you."

"It is different when it's your wife. Callie has the greatest sense of loyalty I have ever seen. She would stick by you through anything. I know my wife and she would stay with me out of obligation and because she took vows."

"I don't think Callie was staying out of obligation."

"How do you know? She wouldn't come out and say that in front of me and you have only talked to her with me here."

"I see the way she looks at you."

"What do you mean?"

"I have had a lot of patients with lots of problems. I deal with a lot of couples and infidelity. I can honestly tell you most of the husbands or wives don't look at their partners the way Callie looks at you. Callie looks at you like every woman wants to be looked at by their partner. She looks at you like she loves everything about you so much that she just might burst."

"You see all of that?" Arizona said starting to let some tears run down her cheeks.

"Yes, I see all of that. I have no doubt in my mind that your wife loves you. And she told you she stayed because she loves you. She told you that she thinks you are beautiful even with one leg."

"I just have a hard time believing it."

"You need to tell her that. Tell her that you are insecure right now. My guess is Callie will find a way to continue to show you even more often how much she loves you and how beautiful she finds you."

"Callie would do that. Callie would do anything for me."

"So deep down you know."

"Yeah, I guess, I just don't feel like I deserved her love after everything I had done."

"Love doesn't have to be deserved and you went through a horrible, unimaginable thing in that plane crash. It can change a person."

"It did change me, I didn't even recognize myself."

"And do you recognize the old you now?"

"Yeah, more and more everyday I feel like I'm coming out of it. I want to deserve her love. I want to make up for all those months."

"Do you think maybe that's why you felt like you didn't have as much of a right to be mad about what happened to push you to rock bottom?"

"You mean her screwing a woman in front of me?" Arizona spat out the question still disgusted by all of that.

"Yes, that. I feel like you are upset and angry, but you won't let yourself yell or be as mad towards her because you feel like after putting her through months of hell you don't have a right to freak out about it."

"I can't freak out about that."

"Why not? Your wife did a horrible thing to you and you just gave up. Then, when she came and asked for another chance in the hospital you took her back right away."

"Are you trying to say I shouldn't have gotten back together with her? Don't you want us to be together?"

"Yes and I want you to last so you need to work through this so it won't come back to bite you in the ass later. You didn't let yourself get angry with her like she was angry with you. You finally told her in here how miserable it made you feel and she obviously knows how much it hurt you after what you did, but I don't want you feeling resentment later on."

"I am mad. I'm pissed. I don't know how I will even walk into our apartment ever again without throwing up. Because who the fuck does that? Yes, I cheated, yes, I was horrible, but I would never screw someone in front of her. She didn't even just get interrupted then stop. She continued to do it while I was in the room. She purposefully said things during sex with that woman to hurt me because she knew I was still there. Then, when I confronted her about it she told me she didn't love me and that she did that because she didn't love me."

"This is what I'm talking about. You are still angry and bitter about this and you have every right to be. And you need to confront her about it without backing down because you think you don't have a right to be angry."

"What if, what if she leaves me again?" Arizona choked out.

"You can't skirt around problems because you are afraid she is going to leave you again. You have to face it head on if you want to make it. And for the record, I don't think she's going anywhere."

"Alright, we have plans to hang out tonight, I could bring it up then."

"You can do that or you can do it here with the safe place."

"No, I think we need to do this alone."

"Okay, good luck Arizona."

"Thanks."


	8. In the Thick of It Now

"Hey baby," Callie said as she got out of the car and grabbed her bag coming towards Arizona.

"Hi," Arizona said smiling at seeing her wife again.

"I missed you," Callie said grabbing Arizona and placing a kiss on her lips.

"I missed you too. How's Sofia?"

"She's good. Her and Zola were so cute, they were already in their PJs making a blanket fort in Zola's room when I was saying goodbye."

"Aw, I wish I could have seen that."

"I took pictures," Callie said holding them out to Arizona as she put her arm around her waste and they began to walk towards the little villa section they would be staying in. Callie had been given the opportunity to stay the rest of the time with Arizona. They would be staying together in one of the couple villas as they both worked through their issues with each other. Arizona was nervous about staying in the same room again and all the connotations that came along with it. Things were better, but it was still going to be awkward.

"So here it is," Arizona said opening the door. Callie walked in and looked around. It was small with a little kitchenette and a bedroom. Arizona had already moved her stuff in and Callie dropped her bag on the floor, then sat on the bed. It was quiet for a while as Arizona stood there awkwardly looking away.

"So," Callie started.

"So, yeah we are sharing a bed."

"Yeah, how do you feel about that?"

"It was all I wanted for so long, but now that we are here, I'm nervous," Arizona admitted.

"I'm nervous too, but we will figure it out together. No expectations, nothing has to happen."

"It just feels weird. Usually if we had a child free night and our own room we would be ripping each other's clothes off by now."

"We will get back there, it is just going to take some time," Callie said grabbing Arizona and pulling her to sit down next to her.

"Yeah, I just want us to be us again."

"Me too babe," Callie said kissing Arizona softly.

They had gone out to a really nice dinner and kept the conversation light. Arizona was actually was having a really good time and now she was starting to second guess her plans. She didn't want to rock the boat and honestly she just wanted to have a great night with her wife. Callie was wearing a little black dress that hugged all of her curves perfectly. Arizona was actually really aroused just having a simple dinner and she wanted to be with her wife again.

"What?" Callie said catching Arizona looking at her with fire in her eyes.

"You're just so beautiful," Arizona responded.

Callie blushed, "you're beautiful too, I don't know how you make a simple shirt and pants look so good. Arizona, you're perfect."

"I love hearing you say things like that."

"I always want to say things like that because it is what I'm thinking all the time. Even when you are just in scrubs or you have just woken up, you're so amazing to me. You make my heart skip a beat."

"Please don't ever stop saying those things, eventually I will believe them."

"I hope you will because I mean them with all my heart."

They had come back from dinner and come in to their room holding hands. Callie grabbed Arizona and immediately pinned her against the door. They were making out barely stopping to take a breath and hands were roaming everywhere. When Callie finally threw Arizona down on the bed and moved to straddle her wife, Arizona knew she had to put on the breaks. She wanted this so badly, she wanted this more than anything, but she knew they needed to talk about some things first.

"Calliope wait," Arizona said.

"What's wrong? Am I hurting you?"

"No, it's not that. I just, I need to talk to you about something before we do this."

"Oh, um okay," Callie said moving to sit beside her.

"So, we just had the perfect evening and I don't want to ruin it, but I talked with Dr. Anderson about something in therapy today and she thinks I need to bring it up with you."

"You can talk to me about anything Arizona."

"Alright, here is goes. I'm mad, like seriously pissed."

"What? Where did that come from?"

"I haven't let myself get angry with you because I didn't think I deserved to be pissed. I had cheated on you and treated you horribly for months and you did nothing but take it. So I just pushed it all down."

"I understand why you're angry."

"It is just so fucked up. Can you imagine me continuing to sleep with someone right in front of you? It's like you didn't give a shit about my feeling at all!"

"Yeah, you know what I can imagine that because I spent countless hours unable to get the image of you screwing that woman out of my head. The only reason I was even with someone else is because I was so hurt by your mistake," Callie finally fought back.

"Yeah I screwed up, I know I screwed up, but I didn't do it to deliberately hurt you. I made one mistake and regretted it immediately. You took another woman home, which hurt, but that I could have gotten over. But screwing her in front of me was because you wanted to hurt me like I hurt you. It was purposeful and horrible."

"Well you wouldn't leave. I wanted to just screw her and forget about you, but you have to just stand there and watch."

Arizona looked like she had just been punched in the face. She stood up quickly from the bed and grabbed her coat.

"What are you doing?" Callie said looking worried.

"I'm going for a walk, I need some space."

"Arizona this is what we need to do. We need to fight it out. We need to let each other know what we are feeling. You can't just walk away."

"Callie, I'm hurt and I'm angry. I can't be around you right now."

Arizona stalked out and slammed the door and Callie started crying. She knew this was coming eventually. Arizona had been far to calm when they talked about what she did. She had almost lost her wife over those actions. Arizona tried to kill herself because of Callie.

It had been about an hour and Arizona still wasn't back. Callie was starting to worry and even though she knew Arizona was in a better place than when she took all those pills, it was still in the back of her mind. She finally decided to go after her. Callie found the blonde sitting on a little bench in the courtyard area under a tree. She quietly walked up and sat down next to Arizona.

"You don't just get to run away from our problems Arizona."

"I didn't run away from our problems. We just talked about the most painful thing I have ever gone through and I needed a minute."

"I get that, but I was worried. We just talked about the thing that drove you to your attempted suicide. I was afraid you might be thinking about it again."

"Calliope, I'm sorry I put you through that, but I promise I'm not in that place anymore. I want to be alive and I want to be better."

"Okay, just please if you ever feel like that again talk to me. No matter what, please just talk to me."

"I promise."

"What can I do to make this up to you?" Callie asked.

"It's not about making it up."

"I just feel so horrible. Arizona I will never forgive myself for doing that to you. I can't even believe I did that. I purposely hurt you in the worst way."

"And I feel horrible for everything I did to you. We have to move on from this and let the pain go."

They sat there in silence for a while. Both of them were contemplating if they could really move on from it and it they could really forgive and release the pain they had been holding onto."

"Arizona, I forgive you," Callie finally said.

"What?"

"I forgive you for everything. I forgive you for all the things you said to me after the crash. I forgive you for sleeping with Lauren. I just, I forgive you."

"You forgive me? You're not just saying that?"

"No, I mean it with all my heart. I don't want to hold this over your head or hurt from this anymore. I really do truly forgive you."

Arizona thought for a while and wondered if she was ready to forgive Callie too. She hated herself, but she decided she wasn't.

"Calliope, thank you, but I can't do it too. I'm not ready to forgive you."

"Will you ever forgive me?" Callie asked afraid of the answer.

"I will, I just can't yet and I want to mean it."

"Alright, let's go back to our room. I'm really tired," Callie said holding out her hand.

They lay awkwardly in the bedroom with at least a foot in between them. Neither one could sleep and they were thinking about their conversation that night. Finally, Arizona said something.

"Calliope, I don't want us to be weird. Just because I'm not fully ready to forgive doesn't mean I don't love you. It doesn't mean I don't love every minute we have together."

"It just hurts, but I get it. I feel like it's this big unspoken thing between us now."

"Only if we let it be. If we want to get back to normal, we have to act like us."

"I don't even know how to do that," Callie admitted.

"We start like this," Arizona said pulling Callie's back into her front, "we always spend our nights in bed holding each other."

"This feels perfect Arizona."

"I feel like my heart is finally coming back home."


End file.
